Hi Everyone,
I will thank you in advance for reading this monologue, just in case you do not get to the bottom.
I am going to leave out 90% of the surmising, guessing and told you so’ from friends, but trust me, all their predictions have actually come true.
In 1996, I met my future wife in a singles club that I owned. We got together almost from the first week that she came along.
I sold my flat and moved in with her the following year, the same year I had a very serious non fault accident, that, with the sale of my flat and the compensation I put over £150,000 into my account, which I changed to a joint account.
We were married in August 2001, she had continued working for about nine years, I presumed that her wages were now being paid into out joint account.
I am completely to blame, but from the time I placed her name as a joint account holder until just a few months ago, I never once checked my account. I think its called, STUPIDITY, or maybe, TRUST.
In 2007 we moved to southern Italy after selling her house and bought a beautiful villa where as far as I and all our new friends were concerned we were the perfect couple. I was most certainly very much in love with her and did not know how or ever want to use the NO word.
She flew back to the UK at least three times a year to see her children who I had got on very well with, and presumed that their feelings to me were similar, certainly, I had never had a dispute of any kind with either of her two boys.
For about twelve months 2012 to August 2013 she had started behaving quite distant and would often start a dispute over tiny things, this got me so stressed that in June 2013 I had a minor stroke, which I am still recovering from.
2 months later, now Eighteen months ago she told me one morning as we were getting up to get ready to take her to the airport that she would not be coming back.
She only had her hold luggage as usual, I tried to not think about what she had said as I took her to airport. She got out of the car, gave me the usual long cuddle and a kiss walked away and that is the last time I saw her.
Since then and for the first time I have checked my on-line account and found that I am almost broke.
The bank have been fantastic and checked back as far as they can for me, but cannot find one penny that she had ever paid into our joint account. I now know that she had been building up her own private account that I had no knowledge of.
Last week she wrote to say that she has been seeing someone else for some time and is demanding that I sell our villa here to give her, her half.
In fact what she actually said was, that if I gave her the whole of the proceeds from the sale she would buy, refurbish and sell some properties in the area she lives in. To repeat exactly what she said:’ This could be the best chance that WE HAVE to get some extra money’ Yes, she actually said the ‘WE’ word.
There is obviously a lot more that could pad out the above, but I think I have covered the salient points.
I am now here on my own, I have four dogs which have kept me sane, so I cannot just pack up and go. I am about 40% disabled because of the stroke and have to look after not just myself and the huge villa, but four dogs as well.
She is still removing money from our joint account and is refusing to pay me from the revenue for our our holiday rentals this year, unbeknown to me she had changed all of the logging in and bank details from the site where we advertise the villa.
I am not sure what sort of advice or help I need, I expect that one of the reasons for telling the above story was to offload a bit, but advice is something I really need urgently on what I should or could do next to try and get some sort of order back to my life.
What should I, or could I be doing now, my head is like cotton wool, I hate confrontation of any kind, but I realise I have to stand up and be counted for once in my life.
Thank you for your time in reading this.
Gerry
I will thank you in advance for reading this monologue, just in case you do not get to the bottom.
I am going to leave out 90% of the surmising, guessing and told you so’ from friends, but trust me, all their predictions have actually come true.
In 1996, I met my future wife in a singles club that I owned. We got together almost from the first week that she came along.
I sold my flat and moved in with her the following year, the same year I had a very serious non fault accident, that, with the sale of my flat and the compensation I put over £150,000 into my account, which I changed to a joint account.
We were married in August 2001, she had continued working for about nine years, I presumed that her wages were now being paid into out joint account.
I am completely to blame, but from the time I placed her name as a joint account holder until just a few months ago, I never once checked my account. I think its called, STUPIDITY, or maybe, TRUST.
In 2007 we moved to southern Italy after selling her house and bought a beautiful villa where as far as I and all our new friends were concerned we were the perfect couple. I was most certainly very much in love with her and did not know how or ever want to use the NO word.
She flew back to the UK at least three times a year to see her children who I had got on very well with, and presumed that their feelings to me were similar, certainly, I had never had a dispute of any kind with either of her two boys.
For about twelve months 2012 to August 2013 she had started behaving quite distant and would often start a dispute over tiny things, this got me so stressed that in June 2013 I had a minor stroke, which I am still recovering from.
2 months later, now Eighteen months ago she told me one morning as we were getting up to get ready to take her to the airport that she would not be coming back.
She only had her hold luggage as usual, I tried to not think about what she had said as I took her to airport. She got out of the car, gave me the usual long cuddle and a kiss walked away and that is the last time I saw her.
Since then and for the first time I have checked my on-line account and found that I am almost broke.
The bank have been fantastic and checked back as far as they can for me, but cannot find one penny that she had ever paid into our joint account. I now know that she had been building up her own private account that I had no knowledge of.
Last week she wrote to say that she has been seeing someone else for some time and is demanding that I sell our villa here to give her, her half.
In fact what she actually said was, that if I gave her the whole of the proceeds from the sale she would buy, refurbish and sell some properties in the area she lives in. To repeat exactly what she said:’ This could be the best chance that WE HAVE to get some extra money’ Yes, she actually said the ‘WE’ word.
There is obviously a lot more that could pad out the above, but I think I have covered the salient points.
I am now here on my own, I have four dogs which have kept me sane, so I cannot just pack up and go. I am about 40% disabled because of the stroke and have to look after not just myself and the huge villa, but four dogs as well.
She is still removing money from our joint account and is refusing to pay me from the revenue for our our holiday rentals this year, unbeknown to me she had changed all of the logging in and bank details from the site where we advertise the villa.
I am not sure what sort of advice or help I need, I expect that one of the reasons for telling the above story was to offload a bit, but advice is something I really need urgently on what I should or could do next to try and get some sort of order back to my life.
What should I, or could I be doing now, my head is like cotton wool, I hate confrontation of any kind, but I realise I have to stand up and be counted for once in my life.
Thank you for your time in reading this.
Gerry
Some commonsense advice please..Separation problem
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